The Press Article
Psycho Babble

Bonding with cows? Hasn't washed for longer than three months? Stroking a voodoo doll's bottom? Time for a session on the couch, GAZ from SUPERGRASS!

If you could use a voodoo doll to hurt anyone you chose, would you? Who would you use it on?
"Oooh, I don't think I could do that, it'd be too nasty. Maybe I'd use one if I could do nice things to it, stroking it's bottom and stuff. When I'm away on long tours, that could come in useful!"

Do you prefer being around men or women?
"I've got more male friends than female friends, but I probably prefer being around my woman than most of my male mates. I suppose I feel quite comfortable either way. Whatever."

What is you most treasured memory?
"I've got a lot of treasured memories from when I live in America as a kid, surrounded by amazing weather and great food and good times. And when we first got signed, that was great. I was only 17, so that was pretty amazing. Of course, if it had all gone wrong, it'd be a bloody awful memory now!"

When were you last in a fight? What caused it, and who won?
"I was 14. But it wasn't really a fight - some bloke just lashed out at me as I was walking along this street in Birmingham. Not the nicest of places at times, Birmingham! He'd obviously decided he wasn't really that into me, so he gave me a bit of a punch in the face. I just started laughing cos it was so out of the blue. I suppose that means I won psychologically, but he did get the last punch in. He got the only punch in!"

If you could choose the manner of your death, what would it be?
"Onstage would be a good 'un! You'd be going out with a bang! Or maybe in bed with my girlfriend - that'd be a good way to go. Have I come close? Mind your own business!"

For a million pounds, would you go for three months without washing, brushing your teeth, or using deodorant? Assuming you could not explain your reasons to anyone?
"I do that anyway! That's what American tours are all about, being really scummy and not washing! That's why British bands never make it in America - they're all scared of us cos we smell so bad! Actually, I reckon I haven't washed for far longer than three months! So I guess you owe me about two million now! Just post it off to the management - they'll be wanting their cut!"

Have you ever considered suicide?
"No, no, I haven't. But I've thought about how mad it would be if you were up the top of a building and, when you were up there, having this really bizarre urge to see what it's like to jump off. But I guess, as soon as you jumped, you'd just go: 'Oh shit! What have I done? I didn't really mean to do that!' So, no, not really. That kind of thing is either in you or not. And it's not really in me.

When did you last cry in front of another person?
"I can't remember. I may have had the odd trickle when Beckham got sent off in France '98. Apart from that, I probably haven't cried for about six years now. We all have our bad days, but it's been a long time for me."

Someone you love deeply is brutally murdered and you know the identity of the murderer. Would you seek revenge?
"I'd probably go completely nuts and seek revenge, yeah. God knows how, though. I suppose Jill Dando's fiance wouldn't necessarily go round the bloke's house with a gun and go for it if he knew, but it'd go through his head. You never really know until you're faced with something like that. Lord help us.!

What has been your biggest failure in life?
"Probably not becoming a superstar football player. I'm really, really upset about that! Nah, I've done all right. I've succeeded in what I've always wanted to do since I was a kid, so there's not too much failure there yet."

Relating to the population at large, how do you rate your physical attractiveness? Your intelligence?
"Down in the bottom half! Hey, whaddya want me to say? I don't know what the majority of the population looks like. I'm just sort of down there somewhere with the... footballers! I'm with David Beckham and Roy Keane!"

Have you ever been attracted to someone of the same sex or someone in your family? If so, how did you deal with it?
"No. No. No. No. No. Never. No. Never had any tendencies in that area. I'm just a hound, d'ya know hat I mean?"

What's the worst psychological torture you can imagine suffering?
"Headphones in a really dark room, with no light, listening to Leo Sayer for hours on end! With no cigarettes or doobies or anything. Terrible! What if Leo Sayer were forced to listen to us? I reckon he'd love it! He'd come out and try and write some top music, having been influenced by a top UK band. We'd make him feel like dancing, all right! He'd be groovin' down all night!"

If God appeared to you in a series of vivid and moving dreams and told you to leave everything behind, travel along to the Red Sea and become a fisherman, what would you do?
"I'd probably just go: 'Yes, God. Anything you say!' Besides, I reckon I'd love to do that. All that serenity and quietness? It'd be lovely!"

Do you have any unusual erogenous zones?
"I don't think it's especially unusual, but you know that bit halfway up your arm? The soft, fleshy bit behind your elbow. That's pretty normal, isn't it? No? Oh dear. The sideburns? Nah, they're not very sensitive. they're a bit like wire wool. I don't mind havin' 'em nuzzled, but I'm sure it doesn't feel very nice."

Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire, after saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to save one item. What would it be?
"It'd have to be my favourite guitar, this gold-top Les Paul '52 - which is the first year they made them. If that went, it'd be a complete disaster. For the world!"

Can you urinate in front of another person?
"Yes, without any problem whatsoever. I've never suffered from that, but I met a bloke who did the other day. I went into the bathroom and he went: ''Ere, you're that bloke from Supergrass!' And he couldn't do a piss! He was too freaked out, goin: 'Man, I can't go to the toilet now!' That was a bit worrying. For him!"

Would you be willing to go into a slaughterhouse and kill a cow?
"No, definitely not. It's not like I'm a preacher, but I've seen films of that stuff and it's gross. We used to have lovely cows outside the cottage where we used to live, when we first started playing music. They were all really sweet, and they used to come over and listen to the music and that! Me and Daisy were very close. At times."

Would you rather be deaf or blind?
"That's quite weird cos my girlfriend's mum is deaf, so I know a bit about it. I don't think I'd like either much, but I suppose we'd all cope, whatever happened. And seeing how strong my girlfriend's mum is, she copes really well. She's great, a great mum."

If one part of your body had to be amputated, which would you rather it was?
"It couldn't be my hands cos of the guitar. And it couldn't be my feet cos of the footie. So what does that leave me with? How about a nipple? Or maybe my little finger, my pinkie - I'm not really a pinkie user. I guess I could keep it in a box and look at it now and then, bring back the old memories, the happy times we shared."

When was the last time you stole something?
"Do hotel towels count? No? well, how about a hotel tree! You know those massive plants they have in the lobby of hotels? We pinched one of them once and took it home, this big six-foot thing. I don't know how we managed to get it out of the door without them seeing us, but it was quite handy."

Robin Bresnark, Melody Maker - 05 June 1999